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Jokes

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BEAR JOKES
BIRD JOKES
CAT JOKES
DOG JOKES
CHICKEN JOKES
ELEPHANT JOKES

BEAR JOKES


What do you call a bear with no ears?

B!


What is black and white and red all over?

A panda bear with a sunburn!


What do polar bears eat for lunch?

Ice berg-ers!


What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?

A drizzly bear!


Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?

Because he was stuffed!


Whats white, furry and shaped like a tooth?

A molar bear!


Why do bears have fur coats?

If they wore a jacket they’d look stupid!


What did the not-so-smart bear say?

Pan-duh!


Why don’t bears like fast food?

Because they cant catch it!


What is it called when your dreaming that your being chased by a bear?

A bitemare!


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BIRD JOKES


Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay they would be called bagels!


Where does a peacock go if it lost its tail?

The re-tail store!


What is even smarter than a talking bird?

A spelling bee!


What bird is always sad?

The blue jay!


What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment!


What bird is with you at every meal?

A swallow!


What kind of bird can carry the most weight?

A crane!


Why do humming birds hum?

Because they forgot the words!


Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Its to far to walk!


What do you call a bird in the winter?

Brrr-d!


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CAT JOKES


What did the kitten say to the dad cat on fathers day?

Have a purr-fect fathers day!


There were 4 cats in a boat, 1 jumped out. how many are left?

none! They were all copy cats!


What is a cats favorite color?

purr-ple!


What kind of cats go bowling?

Alley cats!


Why are cats bad story tellers?

They only have one tail!


Why cant a leopard hide?

Because its always spotted!


What is a french cats favorite dessert?

Chocolate mouse!


What kind of musician do cats like to be?

Purr-cussianists!


Why did the cat put the “M” into the refrigerator?

To turn “ice” into “mice”!


When is it bad to see a black cat?

When your a mouse!


Is it hard to spot a leopard?

No. They come that way!


What animal is bad to play games with?

A cheetah


Who was the first cat to fly in a airplane?

Kitty-hawk


Why are cats good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!


What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice krispies!


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DOG JOKES


What dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog!


What breed of dog does dracula have?

Bloodhound!


When does a dog go “moo”?

When its learning a new language!


Why is a tree like a big dog!

Because they both have a lot of bark!


What is a dogs favorite dessert?

Pup-cakes!


What do you call a dog detective?

Sherlock-bones!


Why do dogs run in circles?

Because its to hard to run in squares!


What did the dog say when he sat on the sand paper?

Ruff!


What kind of dog likes to take bubble baths?

A shampoodle!


What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?

2 dogs barking outside your window!


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CHICKEN JOKES


What does a mixed up hen lay?

Scrambled eggs!


 What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs!


Where do tough chickens come from?

Hard-boiled eggs!


Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!


What do you get when you lay eggs on top of a barn?

An eggroll! 


A rooster laid an egg on top of a barn roof, witch way would it roll?

Roosters don’t lay eggs, hens do!


Why do hens lay eggs?

If they dropped them they’d brake!


Whats a henway?

About 5 pounds!


Whats the most musical part of a chicken?

The drumstick!


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ELEPHANT JOKES


How do elephants talk to each other long distance?

On the elephone!


What do you do when you find a blue elephant?

Cheer him up!


What time is it when you find an elephant in your car?

Time to get a new car!


What game do you not want to play with an elephant?

Squash!


How do you know theres an elephant in the refrigerator?

The door won’t shut!


How do you raise a baby elephant?

With a fork lift!


What is grey and blue and very big?

An elephant holding it’s breath!


Why did the elephant wear black sneakers?

His green ones were in the wash!


What happened to the elephant that ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back!


What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck!


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